Over the years I have become somewhat of a master at travel logistics, but even I found it incredibly difficult to plan this trip. Colombia was off limits to American travelers for quite some time and I could not find a lot of literature to help me on the way, and I made a lot of mistakes that you can learn from. So if you are ready to book your trip to the beautiful, cultural and historic country that is Colombia, let me give you some information I wish I had. But first, a disclaimer and a digression.

The Disclaimer: A little bit on “Colombian Confusion”
This is what my husband and I affectionately (in some moments not so affectionately) called our misadventures. Colombia has only just become a big tourist destination for Americans (and we are probably the hardest travelers to please)- they aren’t Mexico yet, a country that has really gotten international travel down pat in their most traveled locations. This brings us to one of the great paradoxes of the want to be adventurer- we want things to be “off the beaten road”, a “true experience”, and lament when things have gotten “too touristy”- yet also are frustrated when many things don’t run smoothly

I Digress
I returned to Tulum in early 2017 and was shocked to see it had become LA en Mexico. Everyone was drinking green juice and doing yoga wearing tie dye shirts that in the swanky boutique stores were selling HUNDREDS of AMERICAN dollars.  I remember indignantly thinking, “this place didn’t even have electricity when I was here the first time!”, without remembering how annoyed I was back then without electricity and how I would have loved a yoga class. Nostalgia truly does make the heart grow fonder, especially in travel memories. Well, Colombia is like Mexico in it’s beginning (it has electricity to be clear, although hot water can be considered a luxury) and I am sure when we (hopefully) return I will say with a sigh, “Oh it has just been built up way too much! Remember how it used be, babe?!”

Back to the Disclaimer
This is not a country where things come easily. Here is one example. We had to take a boat to get to an island off Cartagena. Our hotel messed up and oversold and told us the day before we had no way to the island. So we had to buy boat tickets from a guy on the street we had to give a 50% down payment to (it was the only way and we were hoping that his official looking t-shirt made him legit), and arrived at the dock an hour and 45 minutes before the boat was to disembark. When we got there, no one had any idea what to do with us. We kept showing our receipt (literally wandering around with the paper in front of us) and got shuffled all around until we were sat with a group, with no confirmation we were actually in the right place. It was a small comfort to see many others doing the same. No one there had their shit together. BUT eventually, we got to where we needed to be and the guy in the tee-shirt proved to be an outstanding citizen.

My point is, if you or your companions are a super stressed out travelers and freak out at bumps in the travel road, then pick one spot to go to, whether it’s Cartagena or Medellion or Bogota, get a nice hotel and sit put. But if you’re ok with a little misadventures in your adventures, then I strongly recommend getting out there and discovering this beautiful country.

Safety Concerns
We traveled quite a bit and were often out late at night. Never once did either of us feel uncomfortable. Sure there are places you just don’t go to, just like there are places you just don’t walk through at night in NYC, or any other major city. The Colombian people are so unbelievable nice, there is a reason they are ranked amongst the happiest people in the world (America doesn’t even crack the top 100).

Value
In terms of bang for your buck, the prices are very reasonable (you can have an amazing dinner and a few drinks for about $15-30 a person and hotels are beyond reasonable) and as I write the American dollar to Colombian Peso was almost 3-1 so it was a bit like hitting the lottery every time we took money out. Speaking of money, I have never been so confused with bills before (Colombian Confusion!). It was so bad that when something was rung up I just held a bunch of bills out and let them take what they needed. You can read more on that here:  Colombian Cash

What I Wish I Did
If I could do it all over again I would fly into Medellion, which I heard over and over from travelers was an amazing and fun city, and spend a day going to the coffee plantations. The pictures looked absolutely stunning and I have a bit of FOMO about it. From there I would fly up to Cartagena spend a few days, drive to Santa Marta have three nights there, go to the National Park, camp for a night, and leave from the Santa Marta airport. That would have been my ideal trip.

What We Actually Did
One place on my list was Tayrona National Park, which beckoned with white sanded beaches, turquoise water and lush jungle right in the foothills of the Sierra Nevadas. So after our flight to Cartagena we made our way to the rental desk of Avis to get our car to drive to Santa Marta, the closest home base to the Park. It was a straight highway run of 130 miles, should be a breeze, right? Lol. It took over 4 hours of driving so crazy it made NYC during rush hour look like child’s play. If you’re not an extremely confident and aggressive driver, driving in Colombia is not for you. Their “highway” was a single lane on either side with enormous tractor trailers slowing up traffic. In order to pass them you would have to play chicken with the other lane of traffic, peeking slightly out ahead of the truck, waiting for your moment, then saying a quick Hail Mary as you gunned it around the truck. There was also the occasional donkey to slow down for. If you’re not cool with this, there are express buses and I suggest you take that instead. They also tell you not to drive at night, and this also is really good advise that we didn’t take and wish we had.

Santa Marta & Tayrona
We loved our time in Santa Marta, we both wished we had stayed more than our two nights. There is not that much to do during the day (so it helps to have a hotel with a pool, not many have them) but there are so many amazing restaurants and bars. It has a lively yet laid back night time vibe and is such a manageable place to get around that you come to feel like it’s “your place”.

From Santa Marta the entrance to Tayrona is about an hour. You can drive and park (make sure you are there no later than 10 am to guarantee a space) or take a cab. They also only allow a certain amount of people in the Park so if it’s a big holiday weekend make sure you are there by 9am, if you are looking to get a good camping space I would suggest even earlier. From the entrance to the main beach it’s a 2 hour hike, or an hour horse ride through the jungle (being short on time we opted for the latter back and forth). The horse ride was an adventure in and of itself, but definitely not for the faint of heart! There were some steep hill and muddy terrain, and some very large monkeys growling from within the trees.

The beach was just as beautiful as a post card, although crowded as we were there right before New Years. There are many camping grounds to take advantage of and you also have the option to stay close by in Tangana, which I had originally booked. After reading many accounts about the high crime at night there I wound up canceling the hotel. You can do a day trip there (it’s supposed to be fun for day drinking) and that’s where the best scuba and snorkeling is supposed to be.

Cartagena & the Rosario Islands
The colorful Colonials and architecture of the Old City is spectacular. The only place where Cartagena can disappoint is the beaches. If you want those beautiful Caribbean beaches you will have to take a boat to the Rosario Islands (about an hour by ferry, just be prepared for that confusion!). What this city does have in spades is night life, restaurants, culture and history. When choosing a hotel, like in Santa Marta, choose one with a pool if you can. It gets devastatingly hot during mid day and it was really nice escaping to the pool for the hottest hours.

Ringing in the New Year
Apparently Cartagena is like the South Beach of Latin America and during this holiday in particular people from all over descend on the city and neighboring beaches. We had no idea about this until we arrived. It was crazy crowded and the hotels were extremely expensive over the New Year. But the Christmas lights are still up and everyone is still in the holiday mood. We opted out of the crazy expensive venues and instead walked around, drinking and eating from street vendors, and enjoyed the incredible firework show over the Old City and harbor. But if you want to skip the crowds and inflated hotel prices, my advice is to go at literally any other time. If you don’t mind some extra people and book extra early, it really is a celebration worth having at least once in your life. Maybe twice, if you’re lucky.

Playa De Carmen is only an hours drive from Cancun, but has little in common with it’s rowdier Spring Breaking neighbor. I’ve stayed in the resorts and in the center of downtown, both are great options, just depends on what kind of traveler you are. Last March my friend and I combined both those experiences and it was one of my favorite vacations. It also helps that my travel buddy is on the same speed as me and understands that “relaxing at the beach” means walking, swimming, cartwheeling, dancing, and making plans.

Ibero-Star Tucan 

All-inclusive
$200-250 PP/night

Family friendly- Babysitting services available & free kids club

The property was converted into a natural habitat with a plush rainforest in the center- this is definitely the highlight. It gives the resort a Jungle Book feel and all around the property are monkeys, flamingos, peacocks, turtles, and, of course, toucans . The food is pretty good, but you’ll want to make reservations at their restaurants (they do book up so make reservations), the buffet food is merely mediocre.

The white sanded beach is pristine (this is hands down where it has the downtown area beat) and we enjoyed a glorious drink  by the beach day, but neither one of us are really resorting kind of gals, and we were ready to head downtown.

The Playa’s 5th Avenue

All the action goes on for about 20 blocks on and directly around 5th Avenue. As you stroll down the pedestrian only cobblestone streets passing boutiques, wine bars, and restaurants with open air seating, you kind of feel like you’re in Europe. I had booked the resort first because I wasn’t sure how safe we would feel downtown, but never did we feel the slightest bit uncomfortable at any time of the day (or well into the night).

Aventura Mexicana

An amazing boutique hotel! We felt welcomed from the moment we walked in. The people at the resort were not even a fraction of how warm, friendly and eager to help the people who work in this hotel are. It’s centrally located on 5th, has a cute pool area, the restaurant is great, and the rate at $125 a night for a suite (including breakfast) cannot be beat. AND they have daily yoga classes in the garden. We didn’t actually attend, but it was great knowing the option was there (just like I like knowing I packed six sports bras I know I’ll never actually use but have to pack every single trip, just in case motivation strikes).

Activities

Cozumel
You can see the island Cozumel from the beach of Playa and it’s a short ferry ride over. Once docked you’ll have your pick of car rental agencies (you absolutely need one to properly enjoy the island). May I recommend not renting a moped. After crashing one and wiping out in Bermuda I should really just put this out there as a general rule. I still have the road rash as a reminder, yet I still tried to rent one again. After a minor incident involving a wall, we opted for the Jeep and we were way happier (and safer) for it. It was definitely one of the oldest and beat up Wranglers on the entire island and although we legitimately loved that old hunk of junk, I do recommend making a car reservation before getting there.

Directly off the coast (literally in knee deep water at some points) is one of the most beautiful and active reefs I have ever seen and you can just drive up to any of their beautiful beaches and rent snorkeling equipment. Want to take a dive excursion and you’re not certified? No problema. You’ll be able to take their “intensive” Mexican certification course in ten minutes or less. “Can you put on the mask and breathe? Si? Great, let’s dive.” is about the extent of it.

Tulum and the Mayan Ruins

On a bluff overlooking a turquoise Caribbean beach are the ruins of the ancient Mayan civilization. In Mayan times Tulum was called Zama, meaning “dawn,” and the structures all face the rising sun. The Mayan calendar revolved around the sun, and as a sun worshiper myself, I respect this. The Mayans built this palace window to line up with the sun on the equinoxes, the two days a year when the earth’s equator is aligned with the center of the sun and there is equal part day and night. If you travel during this time you might want to consider it, although I have heard it is extraordinarily packed.

With a guided tour it takes about 45 minutes to get through the ruins . The history is interesting, the views beautiful, and after you can take the steps down to the beach.

Joya- Cirque de Soleil
30 minute taxi ride from Playa 
VIP seating with 3 course dinner and unlimited champagne $200 per person

 When you see the tent glowing ethereally in the distance you instantly feel transported, and it only gets better from there. The venue is dreamy, the food is beautifully presented and delicious, and the production was wonderful and interactive. VIP package is worth the extra money.

Playa is great get away for the beach bum and adventure seeker. It is one of my favorite vacation spots and I can’t wait to go back. See you in April, Mexico!

It’s an unseasonably warm Alabama night in Choctaw County and the air is heavy with humidity as we get on the golf cart and set out into the dense woods. Strapped in front of me a rifle, in back a flashlight cast ahead to light the uneven way. As we forge deeper into the forrest, the pines look even blacker against the blackness of the starless sky, every now and then luminescent deer eyes peak between the trees. We’re deep into hog country now, our guide says with a smile; it’s hogs we’re on the hunt for.

A light rain starts as we enter the clearing. Before the light gets snapped off I catch the sight of a hog carcass, its sharp yellow teeth are enormous and jut over its lips. I shiver a little despite the warmth of the night. That’s when he starts to call for them. It sounds like “shhhhwooooo shhhhwoooo”. We wait, listening intently for rustling leaves or snapping twigs; the silence is unnerving.

When no hogs come charging (a realization met with both disappointment and relief) we set back to camp. It’s near midnight when we get on the boat and take to the water. Although it’s a lake it feels a lot more like a bayou with dead Spanish moss draping down the trees and swamp grass spiking from the shallow ends. As the flashlight skims the water we find ourselves looking directly into the glowing red eyes of alligators.

One of them is arms distance away, a baby of about four feet, he is basking at the top of the water on this warm night, still and watchful. As we move into the center of the lake we catch a glimpse of a set of eyes set much further apart, and the shadow of a stealthy body glides through the water leaving a small wake. That is no baby. How big do they get, I ask. They grow to about 15 feet, is all the answer I need. Once we get back to camp sleep, surprisingly, comes easy.

I’m jolted out of dreams at 5am by a rifle boom.

Was it hogs? I ask. Yes, apparently they came to find us, our guide replies. I stare hard into the black woods, imagining what could be lurking. After a few moments he lets us know it’s time to get ready; the ducks fly at first light.

As we make our way back on the boat the humidity is flipped off like a switch, and the rain that comes down is bitter and cold. The drops hit my skin feel like ice pellets as the boat picks up speed, and I can’t help but think with unease of the red eyes hiding in the gray depths of the water. As we reach the hole the storm breaks but the clouds linger even as early dawn starts to lighten the sky. We anchor down and wait.

I can hear them before I see them, a sound resembling a whine, and moments later there’s a quick whoosh as they come into sight, black silhouettes dotting the soot colored sky. Their flight is fast as they pour in, seamlessly swooping through trees. I’m unprepared and shoot blindly. They continue to roll in and speed by for the next 20 minutes, I am dazzled by their quickness and mysterious flight. There is a long pause, then off in the distance we hear the caw of the crow, the hunter’s sign that the hunt is over.

It’s time to go home.

Continue reading “Duck, Duck, HUNT” →

I have a new island crush and its name is St. John.

Crystal clear water of teal, turquoise and azure wash up on white sand beaches and the land rises and falls with plush green hills of untouched forrest . The contrast of colors makes you feel like you’re looking through a low-fi filter. Seventy-five percent of the island is protected National Park with meandering trails of unspoiled beauty. It is much less inhabited and urban than its USVI neighbors St. Thomas and St. Croix, and Cruz Bay itself is a cute, low key village with incredible dining and cute boutiques. A three mile coral reef is right off many of the beaches offering incredible snorkeling . The people are friendly, everyone always has a smile and salutation to offer as you pass. There is something about this place that is incredibly special, you’ll feel it the moment you set foot on the island. I know I will without a doubt return, the real question is, next time, will I leave?!?

Where to Stay: Estate Lindholm (Estatelindholm.com)

Nestled in the hills  overlooking St. John’s Cruz Bay is Estate Lindholm. A 16 room Bed & Breakfast that I wish I could move into, and from the moment you step on the property the owner and staff make you feel right at home.

(Disclaimer: If you’re looking for a luxury resort, sip your pina colada at the pool all day vacation, this is not what you’re looking for.)

We were in the Jumbie Suite, their most requested room.  All of the rooms have amazing views and large balconies but I believe this is the best, a sweeping vista of Cruz Bay, the National Park and that’s the island of St. Thomas the sun is setting behind. SWOON.

A continental breakfast is included and while you eat the staff and the owner chat with you about the island, talking about the history and making recommendations. There is a small pool, which we plunged in every day after the beach while raiding the “honor bar”. As the manager Gordon told us the first day, make your drinks as strong as you like, but if you have to be carried to your room you’ll  be charged for the bottle! Fair enough.

Solomon and Honeymoon Beach are a 10-15 minute hike down a trail through the National Park. Solomon is much more deserted and serene. Honeymoon has a beach bar, activities, hammocks and snorkeling. I also almost stepped on this “little” guy while in waist deep water!

Where to Eat 

North Shore Deli: If you want to quickly grab an egg or lunch sandwich or fill up your cooler for the beach this is a great place, plus it’s open early and close to the ferry.

Cruz Bay Landing: If I had let my husband get his way we would have eaten the shrimp here every day. Happy Hour is half off appetizers.

Asolare: Located right next to Estate Lindholm, tucked away from the busier streets of Cruz Bay, the view is phenomenal and the food is supposed to be as well. I say supposed because in a major choke, we never walked the fifteen feet to eat here! It will be our first dinner upon returning to the island.

Extra Virgin Bistro: The reason we never made it to Asolare is because we had to come here again. Everything here was amazing. From the homemade Portuguese bread to dessert, it was all phenomenal, especially the scallops and fried gnocchi.

Morgan’s Mango: The ambiance is much more of an “island” feel and has a great Caribbean menu. The paella was the best I’ve had since Brazil.

Colombos: If you choose to rent a car this smoothies spot is about midway through the other side of the island, and the added rum is free!

Adventures in BVI

The Baths

If you’re into seeing natural wonders, the Baths (in Virgin Gorda) is unlike any place on earth- no, seriously, nothing else like it. When the beach comes in sight you see these massive granite boulders, stacked on top of each other in what seems like mysterious ways. Could be aliens. Or it could be the slow cooling of magma and millions of years of erosion. (Or aliens)

The walk through the Baths is incredible. You step, or swim, into “rooms” with tidal pools and hidden grottos you can only get to by squeezing and crouching through granite tunnels and archways. (Side note: the walk through the Baths is a little on the precarious side with uneven and haphazerd wooden stairs and planks, slippery rocks, and the current can be strong especially during high tide and a full moon). Clausterphobics beware, there are some tight spaces. It isn’t rigorous or scary, just be careful.)

You only need about an hour to do the full experience and the rest of Virgin Gorda didn’t look like it had all that much to offer.

Jost Van Dyke

When the boat slowed down to this teeny tiny island in the British Virgin Islands, it was love at first sight. We swam to shore and paid for Painkillers with our soggy dollars at The Soggy Dollar bar, a drink created and perfected there, made of dark rum, cream of coconut, pineapple and orange juice topped with fresh grated Grenadian nutmeg. Magic mushrooms are legal and mixed in everything from tea to ice cream. I know, like this place wasn’t perfect already. I hear their full moon parties are not to be missed; just another reason I am counting down the days ’til we return.

Quick Tips

– You fly into St. Thomas (STT), a direct flight from NYC is only 3.5 hours. From there take a shared van ($15 PP) to the Red Hook Ferry (about a half hour in low traffic), the ferry to St. John is $7 PP and 15 minutes.
– Many restaurants and businesses are closed August and September and start reopening in October, but the beaches aren’t too crowded yet and rates are still down until Thanksgiving. April through June are supposed to be optimal times to visit to avoid hurricane and high seasons.
– A passport is not necessary for US citizens, but recommended so you can visit the very close and very beautiful British Virgin Islands. American dollars are accepted currency even in BVI.
– Rent a car for at least a day. You can get a jeep for about $70 in Cruz Bay and explore the island. Be advised, driving is on the left side, but the wheel is also on the left. “Stay left!” is a motto on island. It also gives you the chance to do some grocery shopping for staples.
– The best snorkeling is off of Maho Bay and Watermelon Cay. You can take a cab, but they do get expensive and then you’re at the mercy of having them pick you up, so see above tip.
– Ferries make it very easy to island hop including to BVI, which you can do on your own out of Cruz Bay (view schedule at http://www.stjohnusvi.com/ferry.html), passport IS necessary- A great day excursion is the Bad Kitty Tour which hits 5 different islands in the British Virgin Islands including the famous Baths and Jost Van Dyke’s White Bay. The total cost for the whole day including lunch, drinks and tip came to about $250 PP, it was worth it. (calypsovi.com) Trips do sell out, book in advance. Private charters also available.
– If you have the time, spend a full day on Jost Van Dyke, drink a painkiller from Soggy Dollar Bar and think of me.